Monday, January 24, 2005

You take the good with the bad...

So today during break I'm outside the Student Union Center (where our Caf/Mensa, student hangout is) and we're playing "500 up". For those of you that don't know, this is where one guy throws a baseball (or as in today's case a football) high into the air and another group of guys trys to catch it. If you catch it you get a number of points depending on how high and far it was thrown and if you touch and drop it then you loose the same number of points. The object is to get to 500 points so then you can be the person to throw the ball in the air. Simple.

Anyways, so the guy throws this total bomb of a throw and so me and this other guy take off sprinting to go catch it. I mean we're hoofin' it, this thing is like an NFL punt man! Anyways about 2 milliseconds before I'm about to catch the ball the other guy (who I had a half step on) suddenly stopped. Now you might think that 2 milliseconds is not alot of time, but let me tell you it can seem like lightyears. All in the same instant I'm thinking "why did he stop", "concentrate on catching the ball", "wow this is going to be alot of points"... etc etc.

I wasn't thinking of anything but red-blinding pain after those 2 milliseconds were over. You guessed it, because I was looking behind me in the air tracking the ball I totally didn't notice this fucking low rider flower pot thing and totally flipped right over it. Oh the pain, but it gets worse. Not only is there a frigging flower pot in the middle of the on-campus field (how did I not even see it before??) but there's a picnic table about 25 feet away, you guessed it, packed with chicks all staring my direction with a look of stiffeling laughter (not to mention the roar cuming from all the guys over on the other side of the field). The conversation went like this, I remember it verbateim because I was trying to concentrate on anything but the blinding pain as I lay spread eagle on the ground:

Girl #1 on bench: "Hey are you ok?"

Ross: "Yeah, I planned it like that, I'll be fine."

Pause (I am not moving off the ground)

Girl #2: "You want some help?"

Ross: "No I'm good... nice day out today eh?"

Girl #2: "Um, kinda cloudy."


Ross: "Yeah I guess you're right."

Pause (not one of them I'm sure has looked away, I can still hear the guys laughing on the other side of the field and all I can see is a blanket of red across my eyes)

Girl #3: "You wanna cum to our party Saturday?"


Ross: "Yeah sure, can I bring my idiot friends over there?"

Girl #3: "Sure... we're at Heritage Center, starts around 9... but no football's ok?"

Ross: "Deal."


Girl #2 (or 4 I can't even tell at this point): "Are you just going to lie there?"


Ross: "Yeah I think I'll go to class in a bit."

I'm such a dork.

I'm now back in class, not listening to my prof at all, trying to remember how to type (we all have laptops and internet connections here for classes). So good news is that next weekend is now booked, the bad news is I've got a HUGE bump on my head and my right shin looks like it went through a meat grinder... and I still lost 150 points for dropping the ball...

Update: Perfekt timing on the part of my commrade Stevie J who just got this in:

So true!

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