Wednesday, December 31, 2003
Tuesday, December 30, 2003
I love the muppets! I just realized that there are two "new" muppet movies that I totally haven't seen yet! I can't wait but there's NO WAY they're as good as "The Great Muppet Capper". That one is classic!
Monday, December 29, 2003
All I wanted for Christmas was "some sharks with some frickin' laser beams", now was that too much to ask?? Man I love Mike Myers and the Austin Powers trilogy of movies!
Those talk-ity Russians! We showed them! Go Canada Go at the Spengler and World Jr's!!
The company that brings the mantra "customer service" to the German market will be the most successfull enterprise in history. On a semi-related note: Sparkasse sucks!
I played my first hockey game since the holiday binge started last night. It felt AMAZING to get back on the ice again (as it always does) but needless to say every muscle in my body hurts like a bitch today... well not every muscle :-)
What a terrible year for my Tampa Bay Buccaneers, especially after just cuming off a spectacular Super Bowl winning season... damn!
Since the bucs are not in the playoff hunt, in spirit of my buddy's favorite team it's GO TITANS GO all the way now, although my sentimental favorite has to be Favre and the Pack. Danger draw of the year I think has to go to the Cowboys, I don't know how they made the playoffs but I sure wouldn't want to go against parcells in a playoff game, look at what Billy Beleicek does for the pats... did they really go 14 and 2 with 10 straight wins to finish the season?? Wow, an envious fan I am!
One team I don't envy though is the lolely vikings. You start 6 and 0 and can't get it done up 17-6 against the worst team in the NFL?!?! The worst team in the NFL scores a touchdown, gets an onside kick and THEN scores another touchdown on the last play of the game to send you packing, you've GOT to be kidding me! How much did vegas pay you guys to tank that bad and when can I get on the inside track for next years eventual tankeroo?
A final note on my bucs, next year sched looks easier, only time will tell:
2004 Home Opponents
Atlanta
Carolina
Chicago
Denver
Kansas City
New Orleans
San Francisco
Seattle
2004 Road Opponents
Arizona
Atlanta
Carolina
New Orleans
Oakland
St. Louis
San Diego
Washington
Since the bucs are not in the playoff hunt, in spirit of my buddy's favorite team it's GO TITANS GO all the way now, although my sentimental favorite has to be Favre and the Pack. Danger draw of the year I think has to go to the Cowboys, I don't know how they made the playoffs but I sure wouldn't want to go against parcells in a playoff game, look at what Billy Beleicek does for the pats... did they really go 14 and 2 with 10 straight wins to finish the season?? Wow, an envious fan I am!
One team I don't envy though is the lolely vikings. You start 6 and 0 and can't get it done up 17-6 against the worst team in the NFL?!?! The worst team in the NFL scores a touchdown, gets an onside kick and THEN scores another touchdown on the last play of the game to send you packing, you've GOT to be kidding me! How much did vegas pay you guys to tank that bad and when can I get on the inside track for next years eventual tankeroo?
A final note on my bucs, next year sched looks easier, only time will tell:
2004 Home Opponents
Atlanta
Carolina
Chicago
Denver
Kansas City
New Orleans
San Francisco
Seattle
2004 Road Opponents
Arizona
Atlanta
Carolina
New Orleans
Oakland
St. Louis
San Diego
Washington
Interesting piece on chemicals/pollutants in your body... just one more reason to start hitting that treadmile! :-)
I never got to post about "hockey night in Pforzheim" MBA game! What a great night, and with the exception of a broken nose, a bump on the head and a couple sore bottoms I have to say that it went off pretty well. I'm not sure what the final score was but a couple highlights for me were definitely some strong Mexican goaltending, a clutch Russian goal and the revival of the "triple threat" power line of Karlsruhe Kris, Broken Finger Guy (not as a result of the game by the way) and the Tazmanian Devil Aussie.
Thanks to everyone who attended and hope to see you all next time!
ed- Next time will be announced shortly after school resumes in January and will be before exams. This time we will have helmets for any who so desire and we're also working on getting some knee and elbow pads for those of you that were... a little inclined to try and make out with the ice :-)
Thanks to everyone who attended and hope to see you all next time!
ed- Next time will be announced shortly after school resumes in January and will be before exams. This time we will have helmets for any who so desire and we're also working on getting some knee and elbow pads for those of you that were... a little inclined to try and make out with the ice :-)
I just heard some firecrackers go off, am I drunk or is it 2 days early?? Maybe some people should take a closer look at those boxing day calender specials!
A respective look back at 2003 should recall a full text worth of juicy gossip, great times and tidbits of information (ok, maybe just one of those small trashy rail station paperbacks worth)... none of which I have the time or desire to go through and list here, but hopefully EuroRoss will prove to make the task a much less daunting one for next year. I know you're all overblown with anticipation! :-)
2003 was even better than 2002 which was even better than 2001 and so on and so on... it's just amazing that although I've had the most amazing luck in life with an incredible string of good times, radical experiences and great friends, that somehow each year has gotten better! Truly hard to imagine or fathom that this pattern can continue, here's looking towards 2004!
As for new year resolutions, some of the usual suspects have turned up like a reknewed focus on fitness, healthy eating and schoolwork but I think I'm just going to stick with the status quo, it's worked pretty darn good up till now!
2003 was even better than 2002 which was even better than 2001 and so on and so on... it's just amazing that although I've had the most amazing luck in life with an incredible string of good times, radical experiences and great friends, that somehow each year has gotten better! Truly hard to imagine or fathom that this pattern can continue, here's looking towards 2004!
As for new year resolutions, some of the usual suspects have turned up like a reknewed focus on fitness, healthy eating and schoolwork but I think I'm just going to stick with the status quo, it's worked pretty darn good up till now!
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
The World Junior Championships of hockey are held every year from December 26th until the first week of January and is the best hockey of the year. Here's a good site with the listing of past winners and links for other information like tournament records. I'm so excited I could almost pee my pants... oh my, I have to go now...
It really is Russia vs. Canada as the big boys of the hockey world.
Sidenote: the wins from the old soviet union are a little misleading because those were professional militarily based teams where it was not true amateurs but paid professionals. They were even caught one year with forging documents to use overage players! Either way a big shout out to our partner in crime Russia and good luck for what's shapping up to be another fantastic tournament.
Sidenote 2: If it is Canada vs. Russia in the gold medal game (if Russia can manage to meet us there :-) then I will be throwing a party for the game.
Go Canada Go!!!
It really is Russia vs. Canada as the big boys of the hockey world.
Sidenote: the wins from the old soviet union are a little misleading because those were professional militarily based teams where it was not true amateurs but paid professionals. They were even caught one year with forging documents to use overage players! Either way a big shout out to our partner in crime Russia and good luck for what's shapping up to be another fantastic tournament.
Sidenote 2: If it is Canada vs. Russia in the gold medal game (if Russia can manage to meet us there :-) then I will be throwing a party for the game.
Go Canada Go!!!
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
It was a terrible year in Formula 1, especially since my love for Ferrari is next to infinitesimal. At least it produced one of the funnier Kodak moments of the year:
Go and pick your DEL hockey All-Stars! February 1st!
For those of you that were totally perplexed by the mystery disapperance of the downtown Lidl, apparently that was just a temporary store all along while renovations of their perpanent store were being completed. I'm told that store is just around the corner towards the hospital. Mystery solved.
Brutal, the only 2nd league Bundesliga game I do not want to miss is the Karlsruher SC - TSV Alemannia Aachen game on the 23rd... great cus I leave for Canada just days prior.
Although this article is focused on mental health of different relationship arrangements, I think it has sopt spot on observations about men and women, especially:
"For women, security is more important," say Paula Hall, a relationship counsellor at Relate... "For men, security is less of an issue. Feeling trapped is a bigger problem for them."
"For women, security is more important," say Paula Hall, a relationship counsellor at Relate... "For men, security is less of an issue. Feeling trapped is a bigger problem for them."
Saw Lord of the Rings III, and the answer is yes!
ed- This definatly made up for the greatly disappointing Matrix III
ed- This definatly made up for the greatly disappointing Matrix III
Having paid 9.50 euros yesturday night for 4 hours of parking I felt a little ripped off, but today being the busiest shopping day of the year in Canada has the downtown parking lots charging a cool $2.75 a half hour! Usual all-day parking in the same space any other day of the year runs 8 bucks, the same all day pass today 50+... merry Christmas to you too!
Sometimes your fiends really outdo themselves and cum up big. Thanks for making this a very merry christmas guys! Shout outs to (alpha order) Denmark, Karlsruhe Kris's Wife, Mex, Mons and Yang for the holiday gifts, one smiley for each :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
Everyone else who didn't send me gifts, bah-humbug! :-)
Everyone else who didn't send me gifts, bah-humbug! :-)
Anybody want to buy old Canadian warships? I hear they're good partymobiles :-)
I heard that they're taking all the "idols" from around the world (that stupid show that's totally just a ripoff of starsearch) to make a massive "world idol". I don't really care at all, but I think it's hilarious how I'm already 100% positive that our no talent Canadian idol winner will finish dead last behind the likes of Lebanon and that loser Alexander that won in Germany. If I hear that stupid "take me tonight" crap one more time...!!!
As you can probably tell by the lack of recent posts, the holiday celebrations have arrived... I'll be catching up on some things during the day including the horrors of buying "street meat". Sometimes you just can't help yourself on a cold day on the way to a hockey game... mmmm.
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
The humanity of leaders is often best revealed in how they treat people whom they can't benefit from - Manfred Kets de Vries
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
Another ever-increasing reminder that I am old and getting older (not to mention a geek, stop laughing Mex!). I couldn't help but laugh at some of the dialoge, especially my man Tim:
"My line is so beating the heck out of your stupid line. Fear my pink line. You have no chance. I am the undisputed lord of virtual tennis. [Misses ball] Whoops."
-----
Tim: Oh, I'm starting to suck. John, you drained my skill.
John: Yes, I used a power-up.
Tim: What? There's no power-ups in Pong. The concept of a power-up hadn't been invented yet."
-----
"How can you die from a fall of a whopping 3 inches?"
-----
EGM: Who's that chick Mario is rescuing up there?
Brian: It's Princess Peach.
Kirk: It's a hooker.
"My line is so beating the heck out of your stupid line. Fear my pink line. You have no chance. I am the undisputed lord of virtual tennis. [Misses ball] Whoops."
-----
Tim: Oh, I'm starting to suck. John, you drained my skill.
John: Yes, I used a power-up.
Tim: What? There's no power-ups in Pong. The concept of a power-up hadn't been invented yet."
-----
"How can you die from a fall of a whopping 3 inches?"
-----
EGM: Who's that chick Mario is rescuing up there?
Brian: It's Princess Peach.
Kirk: It's a hooker.
Some people I talked to today were complaining about the miniscule amount of snow that was falling this morning (that was so little that it all melted when hitting the ground). Imagine their horror in Canada, this is a picture of my car when I woke up one morning for work in 2001... I was a tad bit late that day :-)
If you search on "what is the worst blog in the world" you get the weblog of the next prime minister of Canada (Paul Martin). Hilarious!
(Thank god it's not EuroRoss!)
(Thank god it's not EuroRoss!)
Although I like soccer (even more so now that I'm in Germany and my favorite team VFB Stuttgart is near the top of the league), there is no comparison to the excitement of hockey. Compared to hockey, soccer is just a bunch of fairies running around a field pretending to fall down...
Monday, December 15, 2003
Earlier I mentioned the trailer for the upcuming garfield movie which looked terrible. Now take a look at the trailer for Spiderman 2... awsome!
Note: For Germans in the dark, Spiderman was one of the biggest comics in north america for over the last 30 years and to be honest my personal favorite. For me growing up it was all about Spiderman and G.I.Joe... I wish they made the Spiderman pjamas with the little pads on the feet for grownups :-)
Note: For Germans in the dark, Spiderman was one of the biggest comics in north america for over the last 30 years and to be honest my personal favorite. For me growing up it was all about Spiderman and G.I.Joe... I wish they made the Spiderman pjamas with the little pads on the feet for grownups :-)
Sunday, December 14, 2003
Warning: Not for the faint of heart, there are some VERY strange people out there!
"Hot or Not" is a webpage that you can upload digital pics of people so that everyone else can rate how hot they are. A couple years ago for a joke I put a pic of one of my buddies there (who also happens to have just moved to the cech republic I think)... hilarious. Good job Bry, at the time of this posting you're averaging an impressive 8.6 out of 10 average.
I get a ton of Google hits for "gluwine" as I talked about it in an earlier post. For those of you searching you are actually looking for "gluhwine" (another link) or "gluhwein."
This has been a Internet public service nnouncement :-)
This has been a Internet public service nnouncement :-)
As The White Man points out regularly, I'm addicted to smilies. At least it's alot cheaper than my crack habit :-)
Congrats to my buddy Swanson on being the first from our high school group to bring a mini-Swanson into the world.
There's different stages in your life that can be characterized in many different ways, but a particularly fitting method is by the transition of the relationships you have with your friends. From innocent childhood playing, to the beginning of puberty, on to high school pressures and social growing, university independence and relationship development, through the engagements and marriages and now the beginning of friends with full families (the baby years). I still haven't gotten through the ever increasing amount of weddings that innidate my mailbox every year... with my sisters to culminate in June!
There's different stages in your life that can be characterized in many different ways, but a particularly fitting method is by the transition of the relationships you have with your friends. From innocent childhood playing, to the beginning of puberty, on to high school pressures and social growing, university independence and relationship development, through the engagements and marriages and now the beginning of friends with full families (the baby years). I still haven't gotten through the ever increasing amount of weddings that innidate my mailbox every year... with my sisters to culminate in June!
Working on the site today, added some links including some cool news and blog sites. Also put up a list to my Amazon Wishlist, feel free to peruse and buy :-)
I just did a google search for EuroRoss and came up with this Russian link as one of the reults, since there is no Russian to English/French/German Google translator I'm hopeing a particular individual of the EuroRoss community will do us all a favour and post a translation?
Do you have the "Garfield" comic strip here in Germany? Well here's a look at the upcuming movie set to be released in Summer 2004... looks shitty.
What is going on VFB Stuttgart?? Friggin get it together, I'm looking at you Kuranyi. As for Vranjes (learn how to keep kicks below 50 feet int the air) and Szabics (run damit!)... go play in traffic.
Friday, December 12, 2003
Undergrad was more about learning maturity, life and independence while masters is the beginning of my actual academic development. It probably helps that I'm studying a subject I'm actually interested in as opposed to the exciting world of mathematics.
Geek note: Each program at university actually teaches you slightly different "ways of thinking" or ways to attack problems and challenges that you face. In this regard I think that the analytical approach of science and mathematics has some distinct advantages when moving into business environments.
Thoughts people?
Geek note: Each program at university actually teaches you slightly different "ways of thinking" or ways to attack problems and challenges that you face. In this regard I think that the analytical approach of science and mathematics has some distinct advantages when moving into business environments.
Thoughts people?
Thursday, December 11, 2003
If Ottawa succeeds in its bid to get the World Junior Championships in 2006, you will literally hear my scream of joy across the globe. It will be better than the last orgasm I had (which was too long ago, wait a minute, isn't the last orgasm ALWAYS too long ago whether it's been a year or a minute!).
Why do my blog entries always degenerate to sex? Anyways, why is the world junior championships the best hockey of the year you ask? Well for starters junior hockey is better than professional hockey because it has more scoring, more excitement, more action, more drive by the players (they don't play for the nominal amount of money they make, they play for passion!) and has less of the problems associated with the NHL (which is systematically killing the NHL product). The NHL really needs to take a look at what's happening in their own junior ranks because the professions game/product is suffering... shorten that season, give more divisional games/rivalries, loose a couple of the shitty markets (let the pens, Florida, 2 other American teams die) and refocus on providing the average fan entertainment, value and an experience they want to repeat. A little more parity from year to year like in the NFL (the most profitable north American league) would help too, giving every fan the hope and realistic reason to hope that their team has a chance is always a staple for LONG-LASTING sport markets.
Only the Stanley Cup playoffs during certain exciting years and the world championships (formally known as the Canada Cup series) are even comparable, and even then I don't think they quite match up (most of the time, the 2002 Olympics being a particularly good counter example). I can already hear Russia's protests :-)
Note: the gay fight link I posted earlier is now down but I'm working on getting a transcript. Yes it's that funny :-)
Why do my blog entries always degenerate to sex? Anyways, why is the world junior championships the best hockey of the year you ask? Well for starters junior hockey is better than professional hockey because it has more scoring, more excitement, more action, more drive by the players (they don't play for the nominal amount of money they make, they play for passion!) and has less of the problems associated with the NHL (which is systematically killing the NHL product). The NHL really needs to take a look at what's happening in their own junior ranks because the professions game/product is suffering... shorten that season, give more divisional games/rivalries, loose a couple of the shitty markets (let the pens, Florida, 2 other American teams die) and refocus on providing the average fan entertainment, value and an experience they want to repeat. A little more parity from year to year like in the NFL (the most profitable north American league) would help too, giving every fan the hope and realistic reason to hope that their team has a chance is always a staple for LONG-LASTING sport markets.
Only the Stanley Cup playoffs during certain exciting years and the world championships (formally known as the Canada Cup series) are even comparable, and even then I don't think they quite match up (most of the time, the 2002 Olympics being a particularly good counter example). I can already hear Russia's protests :-)
Note: the gay fight link I posted earlier is now down but I'm working on getting a transcript. Yes it's that funny :-)
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
Just to tie up these recent posts nicely and to announce that I'm not totally insane, I've now moved on to a cool Johnny Cash remix of NIN's "Hurt" that he completed just months before passing away... very cool.
And at least I'm not as crazy as some people, take a look at the CEO of Microsoft Steve Ballmer.
Well off to class...
And at least I'm not as crazy as some people, take a look at the CEO of Microsoft Steve Ballmer.
Well off to class...
Re-discover John Secada "Angel":
I, I can't read the future
But I still want to hold you close
Right now, is all I want from you
So give me the morning
Sharing another day
With you, is all I want to know
And baby I, I've tried to forget you
But the light of your eyes still shine
You shine like an angel
A spirit that won't let me go
I, I didn't want to tell you
Things I didn't want to know myself
I was afraid to show
But you gave me a reason
A reason to face the truth
To face the truth, face the truth, face the truth
And baby I, I've tried to forget you
But the light of your eyes still shine
You shine like an angel
A spirit that won't let me go
Won't let me go
Let go of my heart
Hilarioius, a quarter of you think I'm gay, another that I'm just crazy, maybe some just think I'm overtired cus it's 6:20 AM and finally I'm sure most of you just think all of the above... this post is 6:20 AM hilarious.
I, I can't read the future
But I still want to hold you close
Right now, is all I want from you
So give me the morning
Sharing another day
With you, is all I want to know
And baby I, I've tried to forget you
But the light of your eyes still shine
You shine like an angel
A spirit that won't let me go
I, I didn't want to tell you
Things I didn't want to know myself
I was afraid to show
But you gave me a reason
A reason to face the truth
To face the truth, face the truth, face the truth
And baby I, I've tried to forget you
But the light of your eyes still shine
You shine like an angel
A spirit that won't let me go
Won't let me go
Let go of my heart
Hilarioius, a quarter of you think I'm gay, another that I'm just crazy, maybe some just think I'm overtired cus it's 6:20 AM and finally I'm sure most of you just think all of the above... this post is 6:20 AM hilarious.
Just another Christmas Music complilation... or is it? Avril Lavigne I love you! The Barenaked Ladies "Green Christmas" isn't bad either... but Avril you are the only one for me :-) Don't you agree gents?
:-) :-) :-)
Just for you Whiteman :-) Let the good times roll on your African safari tour, remember that if it starts burning when you pee you should probably get your white ass to a shaman licketty split!
Just for you Whiteman :-) Let the good times roll on your African safari tour, remember that if it starts burning when you pee you should probably get your white ass to a shaman licketty split!
Shout out to all of you that are feeling a little home sick. I'm not going home for Christmas so it might hit me a little over the holidays, and although I certainly miss the fam, hockey games and fucking juicy BBQ steaks, time seems to fly so fast now that it's not nearly as difficult as it used to be when I was younger.
So basically I guess I'm just saying I'm old... but I do miss my mommy!! :-)
So basically I guess I'm just saying I'm old... but I do miss my mommy!! :-)
I was trolling through the internet and came across a MSN transcript of two (ex) lovers fighting, check it out cus it's hilarious and reminds me all to much of my days back in undergrad... oh those were the days my friend, we thought they'd never end...
My fav part is the classic "well it was nice knowing you tim h. m. be sure to have a pleasant evening. oh, and don't forget to fuck yourself seeing as that you'll have to get used to that. people seem to avoid trash and maybe thats why nobody is after you. goodnight."
The casual insertion of "oh yeah, and go fuck yourself" is so classic, I think I saw it in a movie as well but can't for the life of me remember it...
My fav part is the classic "well it was nice knowing you tim h. m. be sure to have a pleasant evening. oh, and don't forget to fuck yourself seeing as that you'll have to get used to that. people seem to avoid trash and maybe thats why nobody is after you. goodnight."
The casual insertion of "oh yeah, and go fuck yourself" is so classic, I think I saw it in a movie as well but can't for the life of me remember it...
Hilarious, you all know the expression that guys use to avoid commitment:
"there's no reason to buy the cow when you can get the milk free"
well here's a great comeback for women:
"nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, as they have wised up to the fact that for 8 oz. of sausage it's not worth buying the entire pig"
All I have to say is at least my 1.4 kilos don't have to worry about that kind of insignificance :-)
"there's no reason to buy the cow when you can get the milk free"
well here's a great comeback for women:
"nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, as they have wised up to the fact that for 8 oz. of sausage it's not worth buying the entire pig"
All I have to say is at least my 1.4 kilos don't have to worry about that kind of insignificance :-)
I just found out that my fantastic cell phone that I'm sooo happy with (insert sarcastic grimus here) also does not let me download pictures I take with the shitty resolution camera to my computer either through infrared or cable. I have to e-mail them to myself at a cost of 40 cents each, plus I've tried it and it only works for some e-mail clients... fucking great.
Oh yeah and my 200 euro phone bill from two months ago was not so bad since last months bill is only going to be 120 euros... I HATE CELL PHONES!
Oh yeah and my 200 euro phone bill from two months ago was not so bad since last months bill is only going to be 120 euros... I HATE CELL PHONES!
Tickets for VFB Stuttgarts second half of the season are now on sale (the Bayern Munic game is already sold out). We need to organize a class trip but I'm still hopeing that we can set that up for next weekend against Leverkusen, stay tuned!
Roy Jones Jr., the best pound for pound fighter in the world, has a couple rap albumns out which in itself arn't bad but the lyrics are hilarious. I sure hope that the promoters can get the Jones - Tyson fight happen.
Nothing says "cool" like listening to John Secada at 5:30 in the morning after a night of work on Commercial Transactions... "give us a chance to make it, oh yeah, oh no no no, I, I don't want to say it, I don't want to find another way, to make it through the day without you"... John you are a lyrical god :-)
Matrix 3 sucks. Reminds me of the over-dramatized Independance Day movie. A rental at best but only because the first one was so good and you of course get ropped into watching all three based on that strength.
Monday, December 08, 2003
What have you guys got on your Christmas lists? I'll post my amazon list for all to paruse just as soon as I friggin figure out the linking system...
Sunday, December 07, 2003
Another cool Lego site, this one is called The Brick Apple and focuses on recreating all New York Legostyle.
Saturday, December 06, 2003
Does anyone know anything about getting the tax you pay on consumer good purchases when you return home (by just showing them your reciepts)? I've been told this but I have no idea what the conditions are or how to do it?
The third annual Weblog awards (known as the bloggies) and another weblog award nominations have begun (can you believe I'm not nominated, I know, it's a disgrace!). Go check out what a good blog looks like (but don't forget to cum back :-)
I am totally addicted to McDonalds french fries (that's "freedom fries" for those americans reading this :-), ridder sport chocolate and hefe beer. Totally.
I think blogs represent their writers quite nicely. I notice that many blogs have long well thought out posts relating to current events, interests and other general topics. My posts tend to be no more than three lines long which matches my attention spa... what was I writting about?
Thanks for the laugh Al:
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
a half-gallon of 2% milk,
a carton of eggs,
a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee,
and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She
looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital
status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly.
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
a half-gallon of 2% milk,
a carton of eggs,
a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee,
and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She
looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital
status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly.
NHL 2003 for Playstation 2 was a bit of a disappointment, but 2004 looks awsome! I've been waiting for the "dynasty mode" where you can control a team over many seasons with drafting and etc (available for NCAA football for many years now) and it's finally cum to EA's hockey series... too bad my playstation 2 is in Canada and doesn't work on the european power :-(
I was also looking at getting either a gameboy advance or one of those new "engage" phone/video game console combos... any ideas anyone or am I just looking for another reason not to do my commercial transactions assignment? :-)
I was also looking at getting either a gameboy advance or one of those new "engage" phone/video game console combos... any ideas anyone or am I just looking for another reason not to do my commercial transactions assignment? :-)
Be safe, use a condom. This is hilarious and dedicated to the White Man Dave :-)
Got this from Denmark and I'd heard and laughed at it before so I thought I'd put it here :-)
The Buffalo Theory
(In one episode of "Cheers", Cliff is seated at the bar describing the Buffalo Theory to his buddy, Norm. I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this......) "Well you see, Norm, it's like this...A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
Keep on drinking...
The Buffalo Theory
(In one episode of "Cheers", Cliff is seated at the bar describing the Buffalo Theory to his buddy, Norm. I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this......) "Well you see, Norm, it's like this...A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
Keep on drinking...
The Christmas party is this Tuesday at 7PM (4 euros). I have a ticket and want to go but the VFB champions league game starts just after 8... priorities!
There's alot of Christmas markets going on in a bunch of the cities here and plenty of organised trips to check them out (through Gemini etc). Pretty cool but who has the time?
Hilarious, Jimmy you are on a role! In north america (especially the Unites States) they always make fun of how France looses every war (didn't Napolean take over all of europe once?!?). Anyways check this out :-)
Cudos to Jersey Jim for sending me this American article about Canada, it's funny with a sprinkling of truth to it. It kinda reminds me of the movie "Bowling for Columbine" which is a pretty good movie. Having an american write this and then having another american send it to me for a laugh at their own expense makes me wonder if the US is really all that far off as most people say from a more sympatico society.
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette - Canada article
You live next door to a clean-cut, quiet guy. He never plays loud music or throws raucous parties. He doesn't gossip over the fence, just smiles politely and offers you some tomatoes. His lawn is cared-for, his house is neat as a pin and you get the feeling he doesn't always lock his front door. He wears Dockers. You hardly know he's there. And then one day you discover that he has pot in his basement, spends his weekends at peace marches and that guy you've seen mowing the yard is his spouse.
Allow me to introduce Canada.
The Canadians are so quiet that you may have forgotten they're up there, but they've been busy doing some surprising things. It's like discovering that the mice you are dimly aware of in your attic have been building an espresso machine. Did you realize, for example, that our reliable little tag-
along brother never joined the Coalition of the Willing? Canada wasn't willing, as it turns out, to join the fun in Iraq. I can only assume American diner menus weren't angrily changed to include "freedom bacon," because nobody here eats the stuff anyway.
And then there's the wild drug situation: Canadian doctors are authorized to dispense medical marijuana. Parliament is considering legislation that would not exactly legalize marijuana possession, as you may have heard, but would reduce the penalty for possession of under 15 grams to a fine, like a speeding ticket. This is to allow law enforcement to concentrate resources on traffickers; if your garden is full of wasps, it's smarter to go for the nest rather than trying to swat every individual bug. Or, in the United States, bong.
Now, here's the part that I, as an American, can't understand. These poor benighted pinkos are doing everything wrong. They have
a drug problem: Marijuana offenses have doubled since 1991. And Canada has strict gun control laws, which means that the criminals must
all be heavily armed, the law-abiding civilians helpless and the government on the verge of a massive confiscation campaign. (The laws have been
in place since the '70s, but I'm sure the government will get around to the confiscation eventually.) They don't even have a death penalty! And yet nationally, overall crime in Canada has been declining since 1991. Violent crimes fell 13 percent in 2002. Of course, there are still crimes committed with guns brought in from the United States, which has become the major illegal weapons supplier for all of North America -- but my theory is that
the surge in pot-smoking has rendered most criminals too relaxed to commit violent crimes. They're probably more focused on shoplifting boxes
of Twinkies from convenince stores.
And then there's the most reckless move of all: Just last month, Canada decided to allow and recognize same-sex marriages. Merciful moose, what can they be thinking? Will there be married Mounties (they always get their man!)? Dudley Do-Right was sweet on Nell, not Mel! We must be the only ones who really care about families. Not enough to make sure they all have health insurance, of course, but more than those libertines up north.
This sort of behavior is a clear and present danger to all our stereotypes about Canada. It's supposed to be a cold, wholesome country of polite, beer-drinking hockey players, not founded by freedom-fighters in a bloody revolution but quietly assembled by loyalists and royalists more interested in order and good government than liberty and independence. But if we are the rugged individualists, why do we spend so much
of our time trying to get everyone to march in lockstep? And if Canadians are so reserved and moderate, why are they so progressive about letting people do what they want to?
Canadians are, as a nation, less religious than we are, according to polls. As a result, Canada's government isn't influenced by large, well-organized religious groups and thus has more in common with those of Scandinavia than those of the United States, or, say, Iran. Canada signed the Kyoto global warming treaty, lets 19-year-olds drink, has more of its population living in urban areas and accepts more immigrants per capita than the United States.
These are all things we've been told will wreck our society. But I guess Canadians are different, because theirs seems oddly sound. Like teenagers, we fiercely idolize individual freedom but really demand that everyone be the same. But the Canadians seem more adult -- more secure. They aren't afraid of foreigners. They aren't afraid of homosexuality. Most of all, they're not afraid of each other.
I wonder if America will ever be that cool.
- ed note: ok so it makes fun of Canada a fair bit too, but gosh darn it, it's pretty funny none the less!
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette - Canada article
You live next door to a clean-cut, quiet guy. He never plays loud music or throws raucous parties. He doesn't gossip over the fence, just smiles politely and offers you some tomatoes. His lawn is cared-for, his house is neat as a pin and you get the feeling he doesn't always lock his front door. He wears Dockers. You hardly know he's there. And then one day you discover that he has pot in his basement, spends his weekends at peace marches and that guy you've seen mowing the yard is his spouse.
Allow me to introduce Canada.
The Canadians are so quiet that you may have forgotten they're up there, but they've been busy doing some surprising things. It's like discovering that the mice you are dimly aware of in your attic have been building an espresso machine. Did you realize, for example, that our reliable little tag-
along brother never joined the Coalition of the Willing? Canada wasn't willing, as it turns out, to join the fun in Iraq. I can only assume American diner menus weren't angrily changed to include "freedom bacon," because nobody here eats the stuff anyway.
And then there's the wild drug situation: Canadian doctors are authorized to dispense medical marijuana. Parliament is considering legislation that would not exactly legalize marijuana possession, as you may have heard, but would reduce the penalty for possession of under 15 grams to a fine, like a speeding ticket. This is to allow law enforcement to concentrate resources on traffickers; if your garden is full of wasps, it's smarter to go for the nest rather than trying to swat every individual bug. Or, in the United States, bong.
Now, here's the part that I, as an American, can't understand. These poor benighted pinkos are doing everything wrong. They have
a drug problem: Marijuana offenses have doubled since 1991. And Canada has strict gun control laws, which means that the criminals must
all be heavily armed, the law-abiding civilians helpless and the government on the verge of a massive confiscation campaign. (The laws have been
in place since the '70s, but I'm sure the government will get around to the confiscation eventually.) They don't even have a death penalty! And yet nationally, overall crime in Canada has been declining since 1991. Violent crimes fell 13 percent in 2002. Of course, there are still crimes committed with guns brought in from the United States, which has become the major illegal weapons supplier for all of North America -- but my theory is that
the surge in pot-smoking has rendered most criminals too relaxed to commit violent crimes. They're probably more focused on shoplifting boxes
of Twinkies from convenince stores.
And then there's the most reckless move of all: Just last month, Canada decided to allow and recognize same-sex marriages. Merciful moose, what can they be thinking? Will there be married Mounties (they always get their man!)? Dudley Do-Right was sweet on Nell, not Mel! We must be the only ones who really care about families. Not enough to make sure they all have health insurance, of course, but more than those libertines up north.
This sort of behavior is a clear and present danger to all our stereotypes about Canada. It's supposed to be a cold, wholesome country of polite, beer-drinking hockey players, not founded by freedom-fighters in a bloody revolution but quietly assembled by loyalists and royalists more interested in order and good government than liberty and independence. But if we are the rugged individualists, why do we spend so much
of our time trying to get everyone to march in lockstep? And if Canadians are so reserved and moderate, why are they so progressive about letting people do what they want to?
Canadians are, as a nation, less religious than we are, according to polls. As a result, Canada's government isn't influenced by large, well-organized religious groups and thus has more in common with those of Scandinavia than those of the United States, or, say, Iran. Canada signed the Kyoto global warming treaty, lets 19-year-olds drink, has more of its population living in urban areas and accepts more immigrants per capita than the United States.
These are all things we've been told will wreck our society. But I guess Canadians are different, because theirs seems oddly sound. Like teenagers, we fiercely idolize individual freedom but really demand that everyone be the same. But the Canadians seem more adult -- more secure. They aren't afraid of foreigners. They aren't afraid of homosexuality. Most of all, they're not afraid of each other.
I wonder if America will ever be that cool.
- ed note: ok so it makes fun of Canada a fair bit too, but gosh darn it, it's pretty funny none the less!
Last week I saw the German movie "Das Wunder von Bern" which is a movie about the first world soccer championship that the Germans won after the second world war (1954 I believe). The story is more one of hope and inspiration as this victory (against the huge favorites at that time Hungary) was the first real event that the Germans could draw inspiration from after the war... almost like their own TSN turing point. The audio is famous throughout all of Germany much in the same way all Canadians will always remember the words "Henderson takes a wild stab at it... Henderson shoots, he scores! Henderson"!
This is a cool recreation of the game using Lego minatures, very funny and it even uses the original commentary. Very cool. The movie was incredible by the way, if you get a chance to check it out (either here in Germany or maybe at the indie theatre in Canada) I would highly suggest you do.
This is a cool recreation of the game using Lego minatures, very funny and it even uses the original commentary. Very cool. The movie was incredible by the way, if you get a chance to check it out (either here in Germany or maybe at the indie theatre in Canada) I would highly suggest you do.
There's a new phenomenon that's really taking hold of the european traveller, it's discount flight travel. Ryan Air is taking the industry by storm here by offering flights as low as $0.01! due to the HUGE success it's only a matter of time before this cums to north america. They put out specials every week, I've been keeping my eye on a cheapy to Rome or Monaco, christmas is cuming you know!! :-)
Congrats to everyone back in Waterloo that has finished yet another semester. We don't even start first semester exams until late January :-(
Friday, December 05, 2003
This year I'm hoping to hit the road to Helsinki Findland to watch the world junior hockey championships (every year from Dec 26 unti Jan 4/5). In 2006 it might even be cuming home!